Don’t Think About Mean People
Don’t Think About Mean People
Five crucial ways to deal with mean people and defeat them
Sometimes you have bad and hurtful experiences with some people. On your part, you were only nice to them. Or at least you didn’t do any harm to them. But, they are mean to you in one way or the other. They say hurtful things to you. Or they do things that hurt you. Some of them may not say or do anything to hurt you in front of you, but they do all that behind your back. In whatever way they hurt you, they leave you feeling bad, sad and miserable. You fret and fume. You just don’t know what to do.
To add to the mystery, you may not even have direct contact or communication with some of the people who do harmful things to you. You wonder, “what did I do to his person that they should take such unkind, spiteful or unfair actions against me?. I don’t even have anything to do with them. I didn’t even interact with them, much less saying or doing anything to hurt them. ”
In order to alleviate the misery arising out of unjust, unfair, cruel or malicious words or actions, some of us may try to take some action about this. We may confront these people and ask them why they said or did something. We may try to explain things. We think by doing this, we can clarify things and make them understand that what they did was unjustified. But after a lot of discussions and arguments going back and forth, we end up with more mental anguish and suffering. They may eventually even add insult to injury.
Because, you see, in this scenario, you are not dealing with good people who may have a misunderstanding. But you are dealing with downright malicious, mean people. Communicating, explaining and clarifying may help and make things better if these people are your good friends who really care about you or your friendship. But the kind of people we are talking about now are not nice people. They may have posed as your friends, but they may actually be jealous of you or they may not like you for some reason, or they may just pleasure in making you unhappy.
You see, you can only awaken a person who is actually sleeping. You cannot awaken a person who is pretending to be asleep. What I mean is, you can only reason with people whose gripe or misunderstanding with you is honest. You cannot reason with people who are unreasonable and ill-natured, even malicious.
So, what do you do now? Well, You should do whatever is absolutely necessary or required to deal with these people and be done with them. But after that, the only thing you can and should do, is to avoid them and stop thinking about them, as much as possible.
You may say to me, “Well, That is the most difficult thing to do. What they said and did is so unfair. It hurts me so much. I am not able to carry on with my life.” You are right. It is not easy to keep off thoughts that keep rolling round and round in the mind, the same miserable thoughts that keep coming incessantly.” But, you have to learn to do so. You must do it. It is definitely possible. You can be successful.
How do you accomplish that? Here are a few most important, crucial, useful and practical instructions.
First, you have to ponder over and understand that there is no use at all in constantly thinking about these useless people. You cannot change them. And by thinking about them, you are only hurting yourself more.
Next, you have to understand that when you think about mean people, you are actually giving them the power to hurt you. When you were not thinking about them, you were happy. But when you remember them, you are hurting. That means you are empowering them even more to make you unhappy. Don’t do this. Please.
Next, you have to realize that the problem is not yours. These mean people are the ones with the problems, not you. They may say or do something to hurt you without reason, but it does not make you any less. You are just the same person you were before. You have nothing to worry about. They are the ones who should be concerned. You know why? Because malicious words and actions will definitely have miserable repercussions. And they will be felt by these cruel people sooner or later.
Next, stop giving undue importance to worthless people. You don’t analyze garbage. The same way, don’t analyze too much the words and actions of people who are insignificant and who should be avoided at all costs. Don’t waste your time and enery on these people; instead spend it in activities that are beneficial to you and those around you.
Finally, whenever disturbing thoughts arise, about the mean words and actions of cruel, unkind people, learn to consciously, deliberately avert your mind away from them. And Start thinking about something pleasant, nice, loving, creative and constructive. Think fondly about those people who are loving and caring to you. At first, it may not be easy. But as you practice again and again, consistently, with perseverance, it will become easier and you will soon be successful.
Don’t give up these five practices because they seem difficult. Keep following them and practicing them the best way you can. Even a little effort goes a long way. Even if you haven’t had bad experiences with mean people, following these these practical methods will help you to improve in the way of dealing with all people and avoiding such experiences in the future.